You relax honey — I’ll do the washing up
Why is it men don't say what they really mean?
The morning started off so nicely. Both hubby and I do consulting so we have a fair bit of flexibility. We decided at the spur of the moment to honour the sunshine so we dusted off the cobwebs from the bicycles and took them out for a short ride through town.
We got back just in time for lunch — leeks and fennel from the veg box mixed with some crispy pancetta, a splash of cream and linguine — and we ate alfresco, with only the tweep tweeps of the baby birds keeping us company.
"I'll clean up honey, you relax" hubby offered as I took my last bite. Not waiting for a response, he picked up HIS plate and got up to go into the kitchen.
What he should have said was:"I'll put the glasses and plates in the dishwasher and leave the hard items – such as the pots with pasta plastered to them – to you. I'll leave the stove as well, because this sponge is too dirty and I don't know where the new ones are and oh, I won't sweep the floors as I don't mind the crunchy bits, hope that's OK."
Arrrgggggggghhh!
I guess it's the thought that counts.
Photo credit: gregoryjameswalsh
I look forward to the day when... | A Modern MotherA Modern Mother | 31st Oct 13
[…] look forward to the day when hubby says he will do the washing up, and he actually washes ALL the dishes including the greasy cast iron frying pan and the one with oatmeal bits on the […]
Ella | 14th Apr 09
I give my husband the choice of bathing the children or tidying up the kitchen because I’m mean like that.
treemama | 8th Apr 09
that is the one nice thing about not having a man in the house, loads to do, but no disappointment.
your lunch sounds scrumdiddlyumptous and outside to boot. glorious!
so in man code “cleaning up” means “will carry own dishes”, good to know!
Courtney | 6th Apr 09
*fluffing ruffled feathers*
Ok… this kind of post just gets the feminist in me all riled up… men choose not to see the mess, women allow them to get away with because we can do it better/right anyway… *snarl*
Lordy, stop me now, I think Im starting to sound like that horrible woman Germaine Greer….. Shoot me now! 😀
TooManyHats | 6th Apr 09
I tagged you on my blog – it is Around World in 80 Clicks – all about what you love about being a mom.
TooManyHats | 6th Apr 09
You have my sympathies – been there done that, had to re-do what he had done.
Potty Mummy | 5th Apr 09
‘I’ll do the washing up?’ What does that mean, out of the mouth of a husband? Not sure I’ve heard it recently (or not without prompting, anyway…)
More than Just a Mother | 5th Apr 09
Home Office Mum, I so wish my husband had OCD…
Perfectly Happy Mum | 5th Apr 09
I have to say mine tries really hard, but I think I am the one with OCD… It is never up to my standard! He will tidy up stuff and put away in the dishwasher (erm when he finds his way back to it) but he never wipes the work tops!
Also he does give a go at the pans but never see the bits that are left in the pans after his washing up!
Last year we had a conversation a bit like this:
Me: What are you doing?! (as I walked in the kitchen, in shock of the scene before my eyes!)
Him: Washing the pans?
Me: How many times do I have to ask you to leave the pans to ME??!! You know I always have to do it again after you!
Him: FINE! YOU DO IT THEN!
Me: YES THANK YOU!!
It was a summer’s day and we had the back door to the garden open, with the neighbour’s probably enjoying their dinner outside, witnessing the whole conversation… I don’t dare to think what all these people thought this.
I can pretty much imagine that the men were thinking “Lucky man, your woman is begging you not to the washing up, just go have a beer and watch rugby!”
And the women probably thought “you stupid cow, let him do the dishes!”
Homeofficemum | 4th Apr 09
I married a man with OCD. It’s marvellous. Highly recommended. No crunchy bits when he’s let loose in the kitchen – although admittedly it’s a rare occurence.
Amy | 3rd Apr 09
Unfortunately i cannot complain about my OH he is very good at doing what he says. I don’t think i could function properly without him, sad i know lol! x x
Felicia - I Complete Me | 3rd Apr 09
You know my hubby is similar. I think we just have different definitions of what it means to clean up.
Carol Smith (caroljs) | 3rd Apr 09
MY OH is so helpful, he washes up but doesn’t dry or put away, he leaves the glasses, doesn’t wipe the sides down, leaves the water in bowl and leaves the tea towel crumpled on the side so it doesn’t dry!
He also does the laundry tricks puts it on and leaves the rest for me!! So I refuse to put his away for him!
Iota | 3rd Apr 09
“I’ve put a load of laundry on”. Oh great. Are you also going to put it in the dryer, fold it and put it away? Then, only then, you’ll get your gold star.
A Modern Mother | 3rd Apr 09
Nappy — I haven’t seen Mad Men must check it out.
Carol — yes it is!
C Mamma — can I please borrow your training manual?
Lindsey — That’s it, he thinks he’s helping!
MT– yes, doing it yourself is the best answer
Maternal Tales | 3rd Apr 09
If my husband wants to help I let him do the cooking. But no one clears up except me – there’s just no point. It’s always done so badly that I have to do it again. Might as well not let anyone else think they’ve done it for fear of having to be grateful!!
Lindsey | 3rd Apr 09
Amen! I know my husband trys, but even when he says he’ll make dinner, the end result is a trashed kitchen…every pot used and left for me to clean once it’s all stuck and harder to clean! But as you say, it’s the thought right? He thinks he’s helping!
Coding Mamma (Tasha) | 3rd Apr 09
Chris has a tendency to say ‘You go to bed and put your feet up. I’ll sort the kitchen out/do the recycling/tidy the living room…’ then, in the morning it’s still all there, not fixed at all. Actually, now I think about it, he hasn’t done that for a long time; perhaps I have him trained, now.
carol b | 3rd Apr 09
the same the world over 🙂 ha ha!
Nappy valley girl | 3rd Apr 09
There was a great little scene in the episode of Mad Men the other day, after Don Draper and Betty had had a dinner party to entertain his work people. He was sitting back, relaxing watching TV while she and the maid did all the cleaning up.
So I guess at least things have moved on since the 50s, but agreed – there is much more to washing up than stacking the dishwasher!