Do you have what it takes … to be a dinner lady?

So, picture this scene: Four mums at my house having coffee. It’s a blustery morning, leaves falling, and we are in my garden room, which is the only room I will receive anyone, as the rest of the house is a complete tip. One mum has a PhD and lectures at the local business school. One is a self-employed barrister, another an ex-Andersen consultant. I have the least impressive credentials as an ex-Marketing director. Our mission? To discuss the lunch time supervisor rota (aka dinner lady) and to induct a new mum. You see, the more mums on the rota, the FEWER TIMES you have to do it yourself.

The new mum on the rota is the barrister. With her first child in reception, she is very keen to figure out how the school works. She has a notepad and is taking copious notes.

“If cook yells at you, try not to worry too much about it. She’s a bit grumpy sometimes.”

“You’ll need to figure out when to call in the other classes. Don’t worry if you get muddled, it took me two years to figure it out.”

“Don’t wear nice clothes — you’ll need a shower when you’re done.”

“You need to scrape off the baked beans and other rubbish into a bowl, and then lug it back to the kitchen.” (see pic)

The new mum was looking down, and her note taking slowed down. I could tell she was re-evaluating her decision to help. We quickly took another tact:

“It’s fun. Really.”

“You’ll know what your child is eating.”

“You’ll have rock star status. The kids will love you.”

I’m not sure we persuaded her.

So do you have what it takes to be a dinner lady?