Proud to be a mum

Mum So now I am supposed to be embarrassed to be a mum?

I admit it — looking after my children ranks way up there (can you see my hands pointing over my head, like I'm reaching over a peak?). Way above my career, my writing, and all that other stuff I do. I may bitch about it, but I love it, and I'm certainly NOT EMBARRASSED ABOUT IT nor do I think it is the "least respected job out there".

Being a mother consumes much of what I write about at the moment … from the middle of a broken night’s sleep right through to parent teacher conferences and making sure my kids get something green into their bodies.  I am OK being in the mummy compartment right now. I don't feel uncomfortable or ill-at-ease being called a mummy.  I've been there and done all that other stuff.  I may feel different when I am not so deeply entrenched, but for now I'm first and foremost a mother.

Sorry, just needed to vent.  I am going to leave you now and go back to shaping my children’s world. I’ll probably blog about it too.

Grrrrrrrr.

Photo credit: stina121

41 COMMENTS

  1. A Modern Mother | 30th Mar 10

    @gigi I think we’ll have to agree to disagree on this. If someone feels ill at ease or selfconscious and feel they need to distance themselves from a term, such as mummy, then that is a source of embarrassment. Also, why perpetuate the myth?

  2. Home Baked | 29th Mar 10

    Very glad to read this post from a mainstream mummy blog!

  3. OrganisedMum | 28th Mar 10

    The reason that some people hate this term is that there is a significant proportion of people who believe that the tag ‘mum’ or ‘mother’ before what ever you’re doing implies that you’re playing at it or its just a hobby to take your mind off the housework.
    My business is now of a size where it stands on its own two feet. In the old days though I suffered dreadfully with this and the banks were the worst – such as the man in Natwest who suggested I should go home, look after my kids and just ask the hubby for a loan.
    I want to be viewed on an equal footing with male entrepreneurs and I think becoming overly affiliated with the word ‘mum’ can prevent this in many people’s eyes. Its not right of course, but I have a great deal of evidence that it’s true.

  4. gigi | 28th Mar 10

    Not to drag this out any further (well, unless you want to) but I just wanted to pop in to clarify two points (if I may!)
    Firstly – the post you referred to did NOT say that anyone was, or should be embarrassed to be a mummy, because if it had, well apart from anything else, that would have particularly ridiculous coming from a website called ‘MumsRock’.
    Secondly, It was actually my decision to keep the identity of the blogger anonymous in this instance. Mainly because I had heard this opinion ‘whispered in cyber-space’ many times before so I knew it wasn’t just one lone voice. And it was the issue it raised that was key, not the individual opinion it quoted. If that makes sense.
    Hopefully that clears things up a little?
    And Jenny – sorry to disappoint 🙁

  5. A Modern Mother | 28th Mar 10

    @rachel thanks for your support Rachel

  6. Rachael | 27th Mar 10

    Oops, meant to say I’ve been online reading ‘mommy blogs’ for years.

  7. Rachael | 27th Mar 10

    I missed this one yesterday.
    Funnily enough this whole ‘mummy blogging’ thing isn’t an issue for me, perhaps because I’ve been online reading ‘mommy bloggers’ from the states who don’t seem to have so much of a problem with giving themselves that title.
    My blog is called marathonmummy: that clearly indicates that I don’t have a problem with being identified as a mother, a mummy, a mom, a mum, or any other variation.
    I don’t have an issue with attending a blogging conference called Cybermummy (in fact I can’t wait!) and anyone who chooses to opt out because of semantics is missing a brilliant opportunity.

  8. Jennysnail | 27th Mar 10

    I’m confused and not sure what you or the anonymous commenter are trying to get across. I did check out mumsrock as not been to that site before and it didn’t really do anything for me.

  9. muummmmeeeeee...... | 27th Mar 10

    Why would anyone be embarrassed to be a mum? To create, care for and prepare a child for adulthood has surely to be one of the most challenging and overwhelming “jobs” in the world. If we allowed ourselves to think about the responsibility attached to it, we’d probably drown ourselves in their baby bath!

  10. A Modern Mother | 27th Mar 10

    @sally I just don’t like buying into the myth. Feck em.

  11. A Modern Mother | 27th Mar 10

    @luschka looking forward to reading it.

  12. Calif Lorna | 27th Mar 10

    I find it really hard to take someone seriously when they write anonymously. If you’re so convinced by your opinion, put your name to it.
    I am so proud of being a mum. I look at my two boys, see what they achieve and know that I’ve helped them reach that. I know it’s one part of my life I will look back on with great fondness.
    I’ve never felt a lack of respect – quite the opposite.

  13. Luschka | 27th Mar 10

    I have very similar thoughts running around my head at the moment, and have wanted to write a post following being slated by someone else for ‘perpetuating the myth’ recently. But I too love it. Good for you for saying it out loud. I shall follow suite sometime next week 🙂

  14. Heather Davis | 26th Mar 10

    It’s a shame the word “mummy” seems to have such little weight in our society. As soon as you place another word next to it that also loses it’s value. So bloggers on it’s own means one thing but put “mummy” next to it and it means another. It’s because women “talking” is empowering and no one likes an empowered woman. It’s the same with the whole coffee morning thing. But the conversations I had at those get togethers when my kids were little saved me life! Best to pay no attention to it all and just keep on blogging and being a mum.

  15. Mummy Bear | 26th Mar 10

    I’ve enjoyed a successful career, travelled the world but nothing has ever come close to the incredible feeling of pride that I feel when I say I am a mum…but at the end of the day, and as niaive as this may be I can’t worry about what other people think or perceive me…I am happy, what more can I ask for?

  16. Sally | 26th Mar 10

    Take a deep breath. Repeat after me: I do not respond to anonymous comments on the Internet. I do NOT respond to anonymous comments on the Internet.
    It’s a good mantra. You can borrow it.
    That said, I’m not sure the post you link to actually says you’re supposed to be embarrassed about being a Mummy.
    I *think* the point being made is that talking about us as mummy bloggers limits us. Because people have sexist, pre-conceived notions of what a “Mummy” is, perhaps they will see the label “Mummy blogger” and make patronising assumptions about what we do, what we write about. Should we use a name that we know some people will make negative assumptions about? Should we call ourselves “Internet Tigresses” instead, to let people know how NOT cosy and fluffy we are?
    As it happens, I don’t think so. I don’t see why, as a blogger and parent, I should worry about someone else’s interpretation of a word or term. I’m a Mummy, I’m a blogger. Deal with it. And the quickest way to shatter a perception that all we write about is potty training and CBeebies is to get out there, make a lot of noise, and show exactly what you’re all about.
    I think the bloggers at Cybermummy will be a group of smart, vocal, articulate, influential parents. The fact that we’re parents doesn’t limit us – it motivates us, it gives us additional understanding of many issues, and means we have a deeply vested interest in a wide range of companies, issues, products and policies.

  17. Stigmum | 26th Mar 10

    Erm, I’m a bit confused! Are you the anonymous commenter? I read it and thought ‘no’ so just checking! From she who loves being a mummy! I love being a mum! What is there to be embarrassed about? Other people may have a problem with it but that problem isn’t mine!

  18. A Modern Mother | 26th Mar 10

    @emmak Perhaps maybe because I am a little older (cough) and enjoyed a career before having kids I can revel in this stage in my life, rather than being slightly embarrased by it (i.e. I’m a mum BUT I do all this other stuff too.) Not sure, to each his own, but please let me enjoy it.

  19. EmmaK | 26th Mar 10

    One of the casualties of the feminist movement was that somehow being a mum became devalued below a career…and what a shame that is. Like you I give this notion the two fingered salute. Have a career by all means but I think people forget just how important being a good mum or dad is for society and for one’s one self esteem.

  20. Expat Mum | 26th Mar 10

    Well we’ve got to call ourselves something. If we chose female bloggers, there’d be a hue and cry about something. Everyone’s completely over-thinking this whole thing.
    And I think a bunch of mum bloggers getting together for a conference send a powerful message and nothing to be denigrated about.

  21. A Modern Mother | 26th Mar 10

    @good point Emily, mummy bloggers as a group are being taken seriously and it represents a huge opportunity.

  22. Emily O | 26th Mar 10

    I think every mum has her own idea about how she’s defined by her role. Some seem to be horrified by the word ‘mummy’ while others love it. We’re all different. I think as bloggers we have a voice and a chance to change the perception that motherhood is a low-status role in society. We should all take pride in how we choose to be.

  23. A Modern Mother | 26th Mar 10

    @mumstheboss more power to you!

  24. Rosie Scribble | 26th Mar 10

    I think the point I was trying to make in my recent post (not the one in your link) was that we are mums who blog, that we have other talents as well and in fact how wonderful we all are and how proud we should be of ourselves. And then posts follow with anonymous opinions about the term mummy blogger that do seem a little harsh, and it makes me want to run a mile from the whole thing. I’m proud to be a mum, I’m proud to be a mum who blogs but I wish I’d not even raised the mummy blogger issue for discussion. Logging off.

  25. mumstheboss | 26th Mar 10

    I love being identified as a mummy – it took me 6 years & lots of heartache to become one, and everything I am doing in my life now (work, home, writing, my friends) is a direct result of becoming a mum.

  26. A Modern Mother | 26th Mar 10

    @britinbosnia good for you that you can separate out different parts of you life, I have a hard time doing that (always have)

  27. Brit In Bosnia | 26th Mar 10

    I have no problem with being identified as a Mummy. But I have other identities too, some of which have nothing to do with being a Mummy. It is when the other identities become overwhelmed by the Mummy part, that I struggle. Eg. I’m doing a part time PhD. The fact that I have children is neither here nor there. It simply isn’t relevent. I don’t want people to infer anything about my student capacities from the fact that I am a mother. I celebrate being a Mum, I enjoy it, I love it. But I don’t want it to define every area of my life.
    Does that make sense? No coffee yet today…

  28. A Modern Mother | 26th Mar 10

    @muddlingalong yes the stereotype sucks and in the context of the politics of a workplace labeling someone a mum and not motivated etc is easy. I hope it doesn’t become a self fulfilled prophecy for some.

  29. Muddling Along Mummy | 26th Mar 10

    I don’t think its about being embarassed about being a mum, I think its more that for me, I dislike having everything about me categorised as being ‘Mummy’ – I’m a hell of a lot more than that yet, and this is a sore point, being a Mummy is a shorthand at work for people being able to categorise me as less motivated, less important, less relevant than if I wasn’t

  30. Nat | 26th Mar 10

    oh you shoved me into posting it 😀

  31. A Modern Mother | 26th Mar 10

    @peabee I try to ignore stereotypes in hope the will go away

  32. A Modern Mother | 26th Mar 10

    @liz agreed it is huge percentage that takes over my brain for a period

  33. Liz (LivingwithKids) | 26th Mar 10

    I’m certainly not embarrassed to be a mum – I LOVE it! I’m not saying it defines me as a woman but it is a HUGE part of my life. I’m a mum first, foremost and always.

  34. peabee72 | 26th Mar 10

    Morning! I’m not embarrassed to be a mum…how could I be? But I do agree with the lack of respect that it’s given in our society, even by other mums.
    I’d never hide the fact that I’m a mother, first and foremost, and I don’t like other people to make assumptions based on that fact….but they do!
    Px

  35. Nat | 26th Mar 10

    I’ve been writing up a post in my head about my desires to “just be a mum” because it’s actually the 2nd most thing I have ever wanted to do in my life after “being an actress” Photography is my 3rd. I am not embarrassed about it at all. If I knew I was going to be embarrassed then I wouldn’t of had a child!
    If they are that embarrassed then perhaps they should talk about the weather or something else!

  36. home office mum | 26th Mar 10

    sorry – up too early for brain to compute that I needed to click the link. Still too early for me to make a lucid comment other than that I’m not embarrassed to be a mum. There’s more to say but am still asleep, just off the cross trainer, needing to have a shower. 🙂

  37. sandi | 26th Mar 10

    There’s not a choice (after the initial shagging), so no point in making yourself weirdly feel “embarrassed” about it. Once you’ve had that baby you are a Mum. Might as well enjoy it!

  38. A Modern Mother | 26th Mar 10

    @alice exactly, just say no I say

  39. Alice | 26th Mar 10

    I don’t understand why people get their knickers in a twist about this kind of thing… we are mums! we do blog! why be embarrassed about that fact?! I think the thing here is that by not being proud of being a mummy, we are actually feeding those who think being a mother is “the least respected job out there”… grrrrrrrrr indeed 🙂

  40. A Modern Mother | 26th Mar 10

    @homeofficemum you’re up early, yes check out the link…

  41. home office mum | 26th Mar 10

    something in particular brought this on?

Leave A Comment

I love comments! Tell me what you think or just say hello.

© 2022 Amodernmother.com. All rights reverved