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Rant

Ever wonder what people say when you leave the room?

Women I have a board meeting Monday, remember?

Huh? As I flipped on the coffee maker Saturday morning, hubby still in PJs, I stared blankly at the coffee grounds. Erm, no I don’t remember. It really didn’t matter. This was all code of course. He wanted me to occupy the girls for a couple hours while he locked himself in the office.

So … off we went to Cafe Nero. I let the girls put on whatever they wanted — which manifested in a rainbow of pink leggings, green and yellow summer dresses and navy jumpers. I pulled on the first thing I could find — Gap curvy jeans with some sort of splotch on the leg (toothpaste? gravy?) and the gray and pink Laura Ashely jumper I've been living in all winter.

Oh well, it was still early, maybe we wouldn't run into anyone we knew.

I paid for my own wedding (did I mention my husband is Scottish?)

I paid for my own wedding. It was a big bash on the bonny banks of Loch Lomond in a five-star country house hotel with salmon and roast lamb for dinner, an 18-piece marching pipe band, several out-of-country guests and several more bottles of French wine. It was truly the best day …

UK Shopping carts — does it need to be this hard?

I’ve been living in the UK on and off since 1990. I have a British passport. My children were born here. I can make a roast that can compete with the best of them. Why the heck can’t I steer a British shopping cart? I am resigned to the fact …

My name is Susanna

Dear XX, You sent me an email today addressed to Suzanne. That is not my name. My name is Susanna. That is why I put it at the bottom of my email (maybe you didn’t see it?) It’s on my biog too. There is an “a” at the end. No “h”. Though if you added …

Proud to be a mum

So now I am supposed to be embarrassed to be a mum? I admit it — looking after my children ranks way up there (can you see my hands pointing over my head, like I'm reaching over a peak?). Way above my career, my writing, and all that other stuff I do. I may bitch …

Is it just me? Do your kids flush?

OK, is it just me? Everytime I pass the loo in this house, there’s, erm, you don’t really need to know the details, but I need to flush.  It happens so often that now I have developed AFR (automatic flush response). Please humour me and take this quick survey. Do your kids …

The blog nightmare

Nightmare OK, this is proof I need a break.

Last night I woke up around 3 am. The sheets slightly were damp. My heart dancing in my throat. It was all so real.

My worry? I had a blog somewhere that I needed to update. I just couldn't find it. I couldn't remember what clever name I had christened it. Tired Mummies? No. Mummies on the run? No. Mums Need Drugs? No. No. No.

Oh, where was it? I knew it must be in need of a new post and it must be time to respond to comments. Where, where, where?

My favourite posts of 2009

BestThe end of the year is a time to reflect; 365 days, 600 packed lunches, 183 blog posts. Here's a list of some of my favourites…

1. The dry spell: Have you ever had one? Come on, admit it. I'm sure you have…

2. I woke up one morning and realised: OHMYGOD — I'm Scottish.

3. The fleeting moment … or just mummy rot? Someone told me once that you lose 10 percent of your brain cells with the birth of each child. I had three in quick succession, you do the math.