Can you please watch the baby, I just need to pop out and collect my pension

11 Flares Filament.io 11 Flares ×

Old lady

Ever wonder what it is like becoming a mother at an older age and if it matters? The short answer is yes and no. The long answer, well, read my story to find out…

I was married when I was 35. I’d like to say this was by choice, but my husband was the first person to actually propose marriage. The older you are, the more set in your ways you become. Of course my biological clock was ticking away, but I didn’t notice, I was having too much fun putting 40 hours a day into my career.

This was in the lead up to the dot com boom and unless you lived through that hype curve, it’s hard to explain. Crazy things happened then. You could have floated a paper bag on the stock market in those days. It was both exhilarating and exhausting; I worked for some awesome software companies and was privy to three IPOs. Then I met my future hubby at a sales meeting in Cancun and life changed.

Future hubby lived in the Thames Valley and I was based in San Francisco. We dated long distance until he persuaded me to move the UK. From then on it is a blur and if I squint I can just about remember…

I got a fab job. We got married. I got a promotion. I got pregnant. I had a miscarriage. I got pregnant again. I had a miscarriage again. The clock ticked. I thought I would never be a mum. I got pregnant again. I had a miscarriage again. I am now 37. I get pregnant and this time I make it to 34 weeks when I have a really important presentation with the WW Head of Sales and two days later I give birth to a baby girl. She weighs less than a sack of sugar. She is in an incubator. I take four months off and hang out with my baby. I miss work. I go back to work. I love work. I am not going to give up work. I commute with this cute little baby girl and work while someone else looks after her at an on-site nursery.

I am 38 and my baby is crawling and I think one is not enough, she should have a sister. I get pregnant. I have a baby. I take four months off. I agonise about going back to work. I go back to work. I feel guilty. I ask hubby if he wants another baby. I get pregnant again.

Hubby gets a job in San Diego. While pregnant and working full time, I coordinate an international move. Thank God I have a nanny to help watch the four-month-old and the two-year-old. I quit my job. We move. I make it to 33 weeks and the newest member of our family spends seven weeks in the NICU.

At this point I have three children under three.  I am 40. I am tired. Work? Are you nuts? We eventually move back to the UK and my life is full of nappies, fish fingers and endless loads of laundry. Blogging is cheaper than therapy so I become a mum blogger.

So, the positives of being an older mum are:

  1. Financial stability. Incomes go up as you get older and have more experience. That’s just part of life.
  2. Career fulfilment. I’ve done the career thing, and do not yearn for what could have been nor feel like I am missing out. I also have the security of knowing I could go back to earning.
  3. Wiser. The more experience you have, the more you know, the more you know, the more you know you don’t know.
  4. Eternal youth. Having young children keeps you young!

And the negatives:

  1. Health issues. Those eggs are just getting old. I had three miscarriages before our first daughter was born. Then I developed severe pre-enclampsia (common in older mums) and had to do the whole NICU/special care thing (twice!)
  2. No gap between kids. Our girls were born within a 2 and 1/2 year timeframe (no multiples). Yes this was planned. No it’s not fun.
  3. You are tired. All. The. Time. Three little kids wear you out.
  4. Age. How shall I put this, I am not going to be the granny that is out roller blading with my grandchildren. I just hope I am still here to see them.

And me? Can you please watch the baby while I pop out and collect my pension? 😉

Photo credit: merwing

11 Flares Twitter 5 Facebook 6 Filament.io 11 Flares ×
Follow:

70 Comments

  1. palymama
    21/10/2013 / 16:56

    Well Susanna I’m now entering the 3rd stage of this process. One is in University (junior) and one is off to college next year. As we’ve discussed, I am the same as you (working 1st, kids late 30’s, blogging) now I’m re-inventing again. You’ve done a great job of keeping a “toe-in” so the 3rd stage won’t be a complete question mark. Not so sure that’s true for me. I never considered things like arthritis popping up at the ripe young age of 59 but it does figure in to tackling some jobs. Also when you interview with someone who’s the same age as your daughter, it does rock your outlook a bit. I think the 3rd stage will be a reflection of the skills I’ve gained over the last 20 years of “not” working combined with the old skills I used prior. We’ll see…

  2. 21/10/2013 / 16:34

    I had my 1st daughter at 20 and I am now having my 4th and 5th (TWINS!!!) at 37. I feel like I have missed out on everything…..no career……no travel….no chance to be me….and now I’ll be heading toward 60 before I get any chance to. I wish I’d had them all ‘early’ ,but life never plays out as it should I guess. Very much looking forward to having babies again, but I am so tired already I don’t know how much worse it may get.

  3. 19/10/2013 / 06:21

    Wow that’s some story Susanna! I’m totally exhausted reading that,,,,
    I was 30 when I had my 1st, did the international move thing whilst pregnant & then back again 2.5yrs later with 2 little ones in tow… Fast forward a few years & 2 miscarriages I had my 3rd when I was 38. I’m now 43 & my body feels a little battered but I would like to think I’m still keeping up & getting down with the kids!

    • 19/10/2013 / 06:59

      Great story and you look amazing, btw.

  4. Business Mummy
    18/10/2013 / 15:13

    My 48 year old friend has just had her 2nd baby this week. Her 1st little one is only 18 months old. I’m not sure I could be that bold; I’m a slightly less old, older Mum as I had my 2 when I was 38 and 41.

    • 19/10/2013 / 07:03

      Wow, I’d love to hear more about your friend. Seems like more mums are having children in their late 40s.

  5. Coco
    28/10/2012 / 22:00

    Stumbled across this blog and all the comments and it makes me feel a bit better about being single at 33, with no husband/babies in sight…i guess i still have plenty of time! Thank you!

    • 19/10/2013 / 07:04

      you sure do!

  6. 26/10/2012 / 22:23

    Oops I’ve already previously commented on this which shows you how senior I am with failing memory and eyesight!

  7. 26/10/2012 / 22:22

    Ha ha! Susannna – same here and my boyfriend did not even propose marriage, we just agreed to have a baby which actually in the end was much more of a commitment that marriage as it turned out. When I go home to my small town in NZ my friends ask me as if I were an alien: “What’s it like at our age to have small children?” They are grandmums needless to say….

  8. 25/10/2012 / 11:45

    I am an older mother: My son was born when I was just 39 and my daughter at 41, nearly 42. Like you I had a miscarriage – mine was when I was 37 at 12 weeks. I also suffered two postpartum hemorrages, and nearly died, but it’s been worth it. Weirdly I am not the oldest mother in my daughters class, I had her when I was 41. I was definitely not ready in my twenties. My mother had me when she was 24 and says she was far too young. I would have preferred to have been a few years younger though.

  9. 24/10/2012 / 21:57

    ‘Blogging is cheaper than therapy’, that so made me laugh.

  10. 24/10/2012 / 15:35

    I love this post. You’ve had quite a journey! Fantastic read.

  11. 30/05/2011 / 22:36

    What a funny and great post and how honest. Like you I was an “older” Mum but bizarrely am actually quite young compared to the next generation of my friends behind me who are having their first child at age 42. What is the answer? On the other hand I am always quite envious of my high school friends, many of whom are grandmothers now. (I am nearly 50 and my eldest is 13) For sure I was incredibly tired having four children after 35 but I loved back-packing all over the world before that. Would not have traded that for the world.

  12. 13/04/2010 / 16:50

    Great post Susanna. You must be so proud of those girls (and you should be very proud of yourself).
    I’m 34 next week and will be getting married in October. Jim and I are excited about the thought of trying for a baby (post wedding obviously) but I wasnt prepared when a friend told me that I would be considered an ‘old mum’ if I gave birth at 35.
    Society may have moved on in terms of women now having careers and thus being too busy to think about babies until they are in their mid/late 30’s but mother nature has yet to catch up with us.
    Our bodies still have the same biological clock they had back in the dark ages when babies were regularly born to mothers as young as 12/13 and 16 year old single girls were considered old maids!

  13. 13/04/2010 / 09:44

    My goodness Susanna I didn’t realise the journey you have been through to bring these 3 little girls into this world!
    I am not sure there is an ideal age for Motherhood. I think that so many factors get in the way and probably one of the most important is meeting the right partner? Although I know for some women it is not the most important bit, but for the majority it makes a difference.
    I personally am very happy with when I had mine (31 and 33) simply because I felt that I fulfilled most of my dreams of travelling and freedom during my twenties and I met Craig in my late twenties when I felt ready for the whole “lets have a house – a dog – get married – have kids” story. I wasn’t ready before this. My sister on the other hand was ready for it all in her early twenties and had her twin girls when she was 23. I suppose that there is never the ideal situation. I sometime catch myself thinking that my life plan would be completely different if I had had my boys earlier, but I probably wouldn’t be the same mum as I am now. I might even have been frustrated because I wouldn’t have done what I wanted to do before them…
    Anyway just a quick note to say that you won a copy of Extract! I will send your email to the PR so they can get in touch with you for the address to send it to.
    Well done! 🙂 Px

  14. 12/04/2010 / 22:35

    Wow, I didn’t realise your three girls were so close together… if my husband had accepted the idea of a second child we’d have also had a close gap. I always wanted a second but having had one at 41 I’ve had moments where I think it would just be too exhausting to have more…

  15. 12/04/2010 / 21:50

    I thought I’d answered this but apparently not! I had mine at 31 and 34 (fab – not too tired, enough money not to always be worried) then the little guy at 41. Crap pregnancy, knackered all the time when he was a baby. I am about 8-10 years older than his friends’ mums hence I tend not to hang out with them. Shame really because it probably does have an impact on his “playdate schedule” but there you go.

  16. 12/04/2010 / 20:59

    It’s funny reading this, because I’m in the middle and actually I DO think it’s been a bit of a disadvantage! I had Kai at 26 and I know practically nobody with a baby who is the same age as me. They’re either older, in their thirties, or much younger. Either way I’ve found it hard to find a group of peers I can relate too. The young mums are too young for me to have much in common with, and the older mum’s have established careers and a self-confidence that makes me feel very inadequate and inferior!

  17. A Modern Mother
    09/04/2010 / 16:53

    @heather your engery level increased??!!!

  18. A Modern Mother
    07/04/2010 / 15:34

    @camilla great insight and attitude!

  19. A Modern Mother
    07/04/2010 / 15:30

    @lisa I read your post, and yes sometimes the extremes are the way to go. So many factor influence what is right for someone and sometimes it just fate (me thinks).

  20. A Modern Mother
    07/04/2010 / 15:28

    @cartside I must be paying for it now, maybe that’s why I’m always tired. Good luck with number 2.

  21. 07/04/2010 / 10:58

    I have a family history of older mums – my mum was 36 when she had me, hers was 34 with her first and over 40 when she had her last child. I was 36 with no 1 and now expecting at 39. We wanted at least two kids but the first one tired me out so much that it was my decision to hold off with trying for #2 until I got decent amounts of sleep again. With a miscarriage they’ll now be 3.5 years apart and we won’t even consider another one. In fact, I wasn’t even sure if i’d tried again had I had another miscarriage. I do feel tired more easily, and also a pressure to continue to work because I’m somewhere on a career ladder and have a job I really like – if I gave up work now, I’d have to start from the bottom of the ladder with potential a job I don’t enjoy once I return to working life. So my plan is to keep working and spend all my income on childcare and transport. Weird.
    I’d always planned to have kids earlier because I saw my mum as very old. But you can’t plan life like that!
    I don’t know how on earth you managed 3 in 3 years and working with #1 and #2, you must have amazing energy reserves!

  22. 03/04/2010 / 17:14

    I was pregnant at 17, had my baby at 18 and took him to university with me when I was 19, graduating with a masters when I was 23 and he was 4.
    I had my next two when I was 24 and 27.
    The first time around I may have been darned broke but I had a ton of energy and determination. By the time I had my third, I had my career (writer) on track. I’m 29 now, have three children where most of my peers have none and by the time my children are essentially looking after themselves, I’ll still be pretty young.
    My experiences of being a young mum studying also inspired me to write (unabashed plugging) Student Parents – the Essential Guide to help other parents with their education. It’s due out next year.
    What I took away from it is this: motherhood is what you make it. I could have seen being a young mum and everything associated with that (no money, society’s attitude, on the bottom rung of my education and career) as an obstacle but I chose to be very focused and see everything as a learning curve towards success.

  23. Heather Davis
    03/04/2010 / 16:55

    I had my first at 26 and my fourth at 38 so I’ve had both sides of the spectrum. It is really hard having babies later on. I can’t imagine having my first at 40+. I was exhausted for about the first four years after E (mu 4th) was born and it wasn’t until she went to full time school that I began to see my energy levels increase slightly. Still it’s hard being in my mid 40’s and having four kids. I am weary sometimes from the constantness of it. When you throw work in to the mix it’s almost impossible. Looking forward to my 50’s!!

  24. Jennysnail
    02/04/2010 / 23:20

    Just popped back to read the comments again so thought I would add something even if a bit late. I suppose having my first at 26 does make me ‘in the middle’ I am very glad I didn’t leave it later as I would have found it even more tiring than I already did. Also having kids changed the way I felt about lots of things and it focused me on what I wanted in my life which turned out to be improving my career, trying to earn more money to make it worthwhile working while paying for childcare and realising I didn’t want to be stuck at home when they were tiny (I love working from home now they’re older). I hated maternity leave so much, it felt like I had no life of my own and I was just a slave to a toddler and baby. Before I had children I just used to drift along not really achieving anything and did waste a few years so maybe if I’d had them even younger it would have been even better for me.

  25. A Modern Mother
    02/04/2010 / 18:11

    @nomorexcuses I think I’m just crazy

  26. 31/03/2010 / 23:39

    wow – what a story. Had my first at 20 and second at 29 – second time round I felt aches and pains I never had first time round. Exhaustion?! I am permanently exhausted with a 16 year old and a 7 year old at 37!!! If I had more I feel I might just keel over – well done you for staying so energetic with 3 little ones close in age and all that you went through!
    Amelia.x

  27. 31/03/2010 / 12:50

    I’m very impressed!I think you’re both brave & crazy… but I’m very impressed 🙂 I had mine at 34 & 36, old enough to be knackered, but also old enough to not feel like I was ‘missing out’ on the whole career/social thing. Whichever choices we make, there is no right or wrong, just the guarantee that we’ll feel *guilty* about it at some stage, as that seems to be part of the deal whatever we do! 😉

  28. A Modern Mother
    31/03/2010 / 07:25

    @nova can’t believe you have five!
    @geeky see, they keep you young
    @hotcross those left over fish fingers are lethal

  29. 31/03/2010 / 00:25

    Wow, what a story. Thanks for condensing it down, I’m exhausted just reading it, sounds like some tough times in there!.
    I think we must have been gadding about dot com crazy San Francisco at around the same time! (I’ve been here since 1996).
    I had thought that you were younger, seeing as how you had three kids! Hats off to you! I’m 40 this year and I am very grateful for my two (two miscarriages before them, had my kids at 35 and 37, I’m with you on the tired aspect!)

  30. 30/03/2010 / 23:50

    Really interesting post, thanks for sharing. You had a tough time didn’t you. Very brave having three so close together.
    I had number one at 21, lots in between and number five at 35. I was definitely a lot tireder after giving birth to number 5- I felt it took me a while to get over the very easy home birth. I never felt too young at 21, I loved it but the financial stability ensured we kept on going…;0)

  31. 30/03/2010 / 22:08

    Wow, that’s an amazing journey. I had my first baby at 35 and my second at 37. I didn’t and don’t consider myself an older mum – although maybe some would. I do get knackered easily but that’s probably due to my poor diet of leftover fishfingers and jaffa cakes.

  32. 30/03/2010 / 13:50

    Hi,
    I have a great blog idea that your readers may be interested in. Can you drop me an email at rob@medlmobile.com
    I don’t want to post the details here as I don’t want you to think I’m spamming you.
    It is related to modern day women who use technology.
    Thanks
    Rob

  33. A Modern Mother
    30/03/2010 / 12:34

    @dawn hadn’t heard that one yet! Is that for real?

  34. 30/03/2010 / 12:23

    My third child arrived on my 36th birthday – the day the medical profession would begin to classify me as ‘a geriatric mother’. Seriously – who came up with that phrase? It’s appalling!

  35. A Modern Mother
    30/03/2010 / 11:13

    @jude some excellent points, I sometimes feel a bit old too, some of the mums at school don’t realize how old I actually am, and when that becomes apparent, well … and the grandparent point is true too. I can’t leave all three with eiter set of grandparens, it’s just a bit too much (hey, it’s too much for me!)

  36. A Modern Mother
    30/03/2010 / 11:10

    @antonella you joke about San Diego, but …

  37. 30/03/2010 / 10:45

    What fantastic achievements in your life, Susanna, and the greatest one (or rather sacrifice) was your moving from San Diego to the UK! Lol! Joking aside, I did as you did, first all the career stuff and ‘fun’ and then marriage and babies. I had my son when I was 30 and my daughter when I was almost 35 (with a miscarriage inbetween). I’m happy to have had my kids when I was a little bit more “mature” although this might vary from woman to woman. Being self-emplyed from the birth of my son onward had helped a lot, as I never had the stress from my boss. All the best. Ciao. A.

  38. 30/03/2010 / 10:05

    I married at 39, had my first child at 41 and my second at 43. I didn’t plan on having kids late, it just happened that way. I agree with most of the points raised. I wouldn’t have wanted to have children in my 20’s – just wouldn’t have felt ready for that, and I feel very lucky to have been able to have them at all at such a late age, and without too much difficulty (just one miscarriage, and a bout of pre-eclampsia). But yes, it is exhausting, yes they do keep you young, and because I didn’t want to do the whole 3 children under 5 thing, it means the decision to stop at 2 kids was made for me (slightly relieved about that though).
    I do sometimes feel a little isolated from younger mum’s. We also suffer a little in that because my parents are elderly, they cannot take on the ‘traditional’ grandparents duties that younger grandparents can.

  39. A Modern Mother
    30/03/2010 / 07:46

    @nat not sure how the middle fits in …. wondering if the young mums can get on with their careers later, and the older ones had them first. Just a thought…

  40. 30/03/2010 / 07:30

    I’m not in the categories , but the majority of my friends are some, didn’t meet the right guy, some were busy with their careers. Some just planned it that way. Wanted to do what they wanted first.
    Poor you though you went through A LOT getting pregnant and then when the girls were born WOW. strong mama.
    Wonder where I fall stuck in the middle lol shall I write myself off now 😀

  41. A Modern Mother
    30/03/2010 / 07:04

    @helen wow, someone else as crazy as I am. That’s another thing, you never find a family with children the same age … there is always one left out, and it seems to be my middle one. The boat sounds fab.

  42. A Modern Mother
    30/03/2010 / 07:01

    @emmak Good for your friend. I would have entertained thoughts of having another EXCEPT that my preenclampsia would probably come on sooner, and we barely made it with the last one. Count our blessings.

  43. A Modern Mother
    30/03/2010 / 06:59

    @emma you climbed Kilimanjaro? V. impressed! I’m in two camps about would I do it differently. I really wish mine were better spaced, but am so glad I did all those thinbgs before they were born. It is a real trade off.

  44. A Modern Mother
    30/03/2010 / 06:56

    @workingmum interesting point about the head who had children earlier and is now getting on with her career…

  45. 29/03/2010 / 21:10

    I was 34 when I had daughter. Now 40, I am exhuasted trying to combine motherhood with a job (notice it is no longer a career). My Head of Department is the same age as me, but had her children much earlier, she now has the promotion, teenage children who take care of themselves and a life to look forward to. I’ve missed the boat careerwise, by the time my daughter is more self sufficient, I’ll be written off as too old. Would I have done it differently? No, I had ten years of a hedonistic lifestyle that I enjoyed, I have a job I enjoy and I have a daughter I love dearly. My life is different now, but I have no regrets. If I’d had her earlier, I would have resented being held back by a baby and I’m sure I would have been miserable. I am much happier to have done it this way round.

  46. 29/03/2010 / 20:47

    I feel exhausted just reading the comments! I had my first at 36 which was older than I had intended but just the way fate unravelled. Through my 20’s I built a career, travelled across the world, climbed Kilimanjaro amongst other expeditions and now when I am sat at home alone (am a lone parent) on a Saturday night I think about all of those amazing achievements which I wouldn’t have had if I had had my daughter younger. I also think of the great, inspirational stories I will be able to pass down to her, that is a real gift and I hope will instill in her the sense of adventure I had, and still have.

  47. 29/03/2010 / 17:03

    I have a friend who became a single mum at 46 – it was something of a miracle because her boyfriend had very little interest in sex but evidently it was all hands to the pumps or where there’s a will there’s a way (I mean they did not use fertility treatments). Re work she says it has forced her to be more ambitious as she has a faculty position at work now because she needed to earn a good wage otherwise if she’d been married she’s have stayed a technician.
    I admire her tremendously and think she does a great job but it is wierd to think when her daughter is 18 she will be 64!!

  48. 29/03/2010 / 16:25

    I enjoyed reading that! I always thought that I had left it late in the day, but reading your account I realize that I am somewher in the middle! I still am the oldest mother on the block though! I had my first at 30 and fit in three before three years was up, so I hear you!I had also done quite a bit before having kids, not the least having been married 8 years – reason why I am one of those rare people to have celebrated a Silver wedding with kids around! I also felt the urgency (compulsion?) to hasve them all at once and I really think it was the best thing to have done in hindsight, I am now looking forward to retirement with hubby on a boat – they can all take care of each other very well thank you!

  49. TooManyHats
    29/03/2010 / 15:48

    I had mine at 26, 28, and 30, so I guess I’m somewhere in the middle of the spectrum. I have friends that had children in their teens and others that had children in their 40s. I guess it just all depends how your life flows.

  50. 29/03/2010 / 14:52

    What a story – you’ve been through a lot in the last few years, haven’t you?
    I had my first at 27, my second at 29, my third at 31 and my fourth at 33, when my midwife said I was the age of her average first time mother. Now I meed mothers at preschool who assume he’s my first, and they’re surprised to discover I have a ten year old (and the rest).
    I have friends who had their children younger, who now have the rest of their lives to get on with careers, and friends who were fairly established in their career and who are now, like you, enjoying motherhood and the fish finger years. I can’t help feeling that there’s not a huge amount of benefit to doing it the way I have. I don’t have a brilliant career behind me, and it’s hard to start building one now. I feel I’m a bit lost, actually.

  51. nappyvalleygirl
    29/03/2010 / 14:08

    Brilliant post – and a fascinating story.
    I had my children and 32 and 33 with only 19 months between them(not planned!). I got married at 25 but wanted to wait until I had done more in my career – also none of my friends started having kids until their early 30s. I am 36 now and pretty knackered most of the time- but I don’t wish I had had children earlier.

  52. Iota
    29/03/2010 / 14:07

    Really interesting to hear your story.
    It always annoys me when “older mums” are portrayed as somehow irresponsibly putting self and career over their babies. Life just isn’t like that. But then the media also portrays “young mums” as irresponsible too. We just can’t win.
    I had my babies neatly bracketed in my 30s (conceived the first at 31, gave birth to the third at 39). I was very aware that fertility decreases with age, and so once I was married, I wanted to get on with it (and I did have 2 miscarriages along the way).
    I envy the energy that accompanies youth, but you really can’t have it all, can you?

  53. 29/03/2010 / 14:01

    Well, that was very interesting and… enlightening. Because I always thought 2 of the 3 girls were twins.
    I hear you on being tired. I have been 33 when little L was born, and I am happy I left it so late. I just wasn’t ready before.

  54. 29/03/2010 / 12:49

    Blimey, I’m 36 and have had 2 within 18 months. I’m knackered and couldn’t consider a 3rd yet. but if we do I’ll be pushing 40 when he/she makes an appearance. Career and family life are hard to balance. Being a mum is just hard. I’m glad I left it later though as I feel I have given up an awful lot of me to have children and if I was younger I might feel resentful. Probably makes me sound incredibly selfish, but it’s how I see it.

  55. Knackered Mother
    29/03/2010 / 11:59

    Gosh Modern, what a story. Makes me feel quite exhausted just reading it. Glad for your happy ending (or is it middle?)! x

  56. 29/03/2010 / 11:27

    I had my first when I was 27 and am now having my third at 33. I’m definitely glad I didn’t start earlier – I had too much to get out of my system. And going by how tired I get these days, I’m glad I didn’t wait much longer as well.

  57. A Modern Mother
    29/03/2010 / 09:27

    @jennysnail yes, how do you feel? Was it “just right” or do you wish you waited or had them sooner?

  58. Jennysnail
    29/03/2010 / 09:20

    what about the views of those in the middle of the range? I was 26 when I had my eldest.

  59. 29/03/2010 / 09:18

    Brilliant post, so many of your observations are similar to being a ‘hands-on’ Granny like me. More tolerance, more knowledge but oh the tiredness…..! I hope though, they keep me young or younger than I am!

  60. A Modern Mother
    29/03/2010 / 08:17

    @rosie another common factor, then, always worth it

  61. 29/03/2010 / 08:10

    Gosh Susanna, that’s quite a story. At quite a loss for words actually. I’ve met your daughters (very briefly), they looks fab, no wonder you are so proud of them. Off to hold my own daughter a little tighter.
    I can’t anything to the documentary I’m afraid. I became a mum at 30 and that was exhausting enough. Still tired six years later. It’s always worth it, any any age, I’d say.

  62. A Modern Mother
    29/03/2010 / 08:02

    @cara I’m luky we didn’t have to do IVF, that would have added a whole other dimension. I wish I was more patient though!

  63. Cara
    29/03/2010 / 08:00

    It’s a double edged sword the whole career thing. You want to do well so you work so you get promoted so you earn more. Then suddenly you’re trying to get pregnant and already classified as a mature mother before you start. To add to the whole saga we tried for four years and then had IVF which was successful but I ended up in a wheelchair for 6 months with SPD and you know what we’re trying all over again now 😉
    I love being an older mum and although I expect I am tireder than younger mums I hope (!) that i am a bit more patient than I would have been when I was younger. I certainly try not to take it all too seriously and enjoy my DD which in all honesty I don’t know if I’d have been able to as a younger person.
    I’m now 38 and I have had my fun so I don’t feel I’ve given anything up but I do feel sad when I wonder if I will still be around at my DD’s 40th. I’ll just have to give her lots more cuddles now.

  64. A Modern Mother
    29/03/2010 / 07:34

    @slummysinglemummy it’s that resilence that gets us all through, despite age

  65. 29/03/2010 / 07:27

    I was 16 when I was pregnant with my first baby and 17 when she was born. Looking back, I am amazed at how I just took it in my stride. I don’t really remember feeling tired, or even terribly effected by it all. I just seemed to have this amazing resilience and adaptability that I’m sure I wouldn’t have if I had another baby now, in my thirties. Youth has a lot of benefits!
    Of course I had no money, security, fridge etc, but I managed 🙂

    • 19/10/2013 / 06:56

      amazing how each story is different and works for that person x